Move on

Question: My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost seven months. We are both in our mid-twenties and both have good jobs. We plan to marry but I am having serious doubts. We get home from work at about the same time. I do all the housework and all the cooking. When I come in, I begin fixing supper. When he gets in, he watches television. After supper, he spends the entire evening playing video games. I mean like four or five hours straight until he goes to bed. We rarely have any sexual contact at all anymore. If this is to be my future with this man, I don't want it. What do you suggest? Can I change him? Trina C., San Diego, CA.
Answer: Can you change him? Not likely. And, if you did, the process you would go through to accomplish a positive change would not be worth it. The process would also change you — most likely in a negative way. A man in his mid-twenties who prefers video games to having a sexual relationship with a loving woman has some real problems. I have read of people, always males by the way, who have become obsessed and consumed by these interactive games. If you were a close friend of mine or a relative of mine, my suggestion to you, Trina, would be to "move on." And, if I were you, I would thank my lucky stars that you had not already married this man. If you were married to him, my suggestion would be different and much more complicated. However, since you are both young and independent, there is no good reason for you to continue this relationship. Even if you still love this man, it is obvious that his concept of love is different from yours. Move on — get your own apartment, continue in your job and follow your heart. Someone else will come to you. Everyone deserves to be happy. Your current boyfriend may be happy with the situation he has now but you obviously are not. You certainly should not continue in such a relationship. You will find someone who will love you and whom you will love. And the two of you will be happy together. And that is as it should be.